August 1, 2024
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Hello, this is Theo Braddy, the Executive Director of NCIL, coming to you again with another message. This one I am calling “Why Me?”
I knew one day I would write about this one. The day has come.
As long as I can remember, since I became a person with a disability in 1975, breaking my neck playing football, I have been wrestling with one question. I am sure it is the same question that many other people with disabilities ask themselves — why me?
It’s a question that lingers, and throughout your lifetime, you come up with different answers, none of which ever fully satisfies you.
I typically ponder this question late at night, after an unfulfilling day of not making meaningful progress toward the many issues we face living with a disability within society.
I am sharing a few of the best answers to this question with you. Why me? Here we go.
Answer #1: Why not me? I know that answering a question with a question is not the proper way, but believe it or not, this answer helped me a lot. It allowed me to overcome many challenges in the early part of my life. Somehow, it made me stronger — not sure why (that’s funny).
Answer #2: God knew I could handle it. As a Believer, I was drawn to this answer. The Word teaches us that He would not put us through anything we cannot bear. In my life, I have beared a lot, so this certainly was my go-to answer. It has helped me through many issues, as well. I have learned not to just “go through” but to “grow through.” I now feel I am a better human being! Only God knows.
Answer #3: S_ _ t happens! I can’t say the word, but you know what I’m saying. This is my favorite and one I use a lot. Although, I use “stuff happens” because stuff just happens in life sometimes. You are put in this world to live and do your best to navigate it, hoping to learn from your mistakes. And if you do, you are obligated to help others along the way so that they can benefit from what you have learned. If you don’t learn from it, you repeat the s_ _ t (stuff) later. Stuff happens!
And finally, Answer #4: It is my purpose in life. This is a deep one and calls for a real-life story. When I had just turned 15, a few months before my accident, I was participating in a high school internship. We were assigned to volunteer at certain businesses during the school year. I was assigned a nursing home. One day, as I was working, I came into a resident room and saw a young girl. She was very attractive, and she immediately grabbed my attention. We quickly became friends, and I learned she was a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down, barely able to move even her arms. Please note that I was just a jock who knew nothing about living this way or anything else I know today. I left the nursing home feeling so sorry for her, thinking what a wasted life. I promised myself I would return to see her, but I never did. A couple of months later, I had my accident and became her — a C4 quadriplegic. I even ended up in the same nursing home.
So yes, I believe strongly in this answer — I am serving my purpose in life.
So, why me? We may never know for sure. I will encourage you to settle on one that motivates you and serves you well.
Maybe you have your own answers to the question — why me? If you do, let me hear them. If not, pick one of mine. Be well.
This is Theo Braddy, Executive Director of the National Council on Independent Living.
Oh yes, a quick shout out to the many who approached me and shared how much these messages mean to them at the IL conference. You refreshed my soul. Thank you!
Theo Braddy
Executive Director
National Council on Independent Living
About NCIL
NCIL is the longest-running national cross-disability grassroots organization, driven by and dedicated to people with disabilities. Since its founding in 1982, NCIL has represented thousands of organizations and individuals, advocating tirelessly for the human and civil rights of people with disabilities across the United States.